Marie Kondo's KonMari Method is Great for Netflix, Terrible for Kids
In accordance with Marie Kondo's KonMari Method, my wife, my ii little boys and I had created a pile of toys in the family room that was at least knee deep. There were construction toys, games, sue figures, puzzles, coddle toys, costumes, balls and stuffed animals mounded up. They had been pulled from closets, nooks, crannies, and shelves and assembled to face judgment. The life-dynamic magic of tidying up is not, IT turns out, so various from the judgment of the living and the idle.
My boys, aged 5 and 7-days-old, were having the time of their young lives. They poured their toys happening the pile from storage bins and indulged in the clatter of plastic and spreading mess. Destroying the family room is their hobby and they are very good at it. And here was the pinnacle of chaos. The only if fashio it could rich person been better is if we let them pull the cushions inactive the couch and knock each other around.
What they were failing to interpret was that the fun would soon stop. They didn't see the reaping advent. They didn't discove release ready and waiting in the wings. I did. I've watched that Marie Kondo show on Netflix with my wife. I knew that Tidying Up was believable to stop in tears.
I was the ane who introduced my wife Marie Kondo. I should let known better. My wife loves cleanup. And that's not some chauvinist affirmation. When she was a micro fill, she demanded her mother make her a patterned rag skirt as the one pre-princess Cinderella wore. In her version of the story, the pumpkin coach never departed for the castle, simply the unworthy stepmother's hovel was spotless. As an adult, she watches Hoarders a lot. IT's her ticker-up music.
For those unfamiliar, Tidying Up features the otherworldly and polite Kondo helping families engineer sloppy and cluttered homes with her patented and profitable KonMari method acting. Normal folks are told to pucker their things, keep them thoughtfully and ask round, "Does this spark joyousness?" If information technology doesn't, the object is thanked for its service and separate from the home. That's the essence of KonMari. Thanking and joy. Dress are thanked as they are folded. Suite are thanked as they are decluttered. Utensils are thanked as they are organized into boxes.
It was inevitable that my married woman would love Marie Kondo. I just did not await the whirlwind romance. Days after the prime binger, we were folding laundry suchlike Origami and purifying stuff. And, really, It actually felt kind of Nice. Indeed when she same the boys should join in on tackling their toys, I was disbelieving only ineffective to resist.
Kondoing, as I've come to call it, obstructed existence nice in the family room. And I can mark the exact moment the jubilant tide shifted. My wife, look for an easy deliver the goods to start the process pulled a broken baby toy from the pile. It was a cracked hammer-shaped rale that had in some way survived previous purges. It had not been played with in years.
"Hunky-dory," my wife said quietly, steeling herself. This is a broken toy for babies. Look at a moment to look at it. Now, I want you to ask yourself, honestly, if it brings you joy."
"Yes," the boys replied, almost in accord.
"Rattling? I haven't seen either of you play with IT in geezerhood. Are you sure."
"Momma," intoned my 5-year-old, "Meber when I was a baby and I used to shake it and run into the ground and stuff? It's my favorite."
"I did that too," my 7-year-worn said.
"You don't sympathise," my wife (ever a good sign). "It did bring you joy once, but does it land you joy today? The point is to fix rid of stuff. Look the least bit this stuff! Are you sure information technology brings you joy?"
"Yes," they same.
My wife took a deep breathing tim. She lento set the rattle aside. Then, she spotted a lacerated accessory for a long lost action figure.
"We don't even have the ridicule that this goes to," she told the boys. "Now, does this bring you delight?"
"Yes," they said. I locked eyes with my wife. The color was exhausting from her side. We studied the memorial to our excessiveness, made of toys, hulking in the center of the family room. This was sledding to suck.
The next four hours were brutal. IT quickly became clear that the children wanted no part of mindfulness. They insisted that everything brought them joy and we, their parents, were left in the position of disagreeable to dismantle that joy and explain it outside. It was a process that ran completely counter to the instincts of a parent. We want our kids to feel joy. That's au fon the whole thing.
As prison term passed, the unhearable, thoughtful simple mindedness of the KonMari was lento polluted with amendments, negotiations and caveats. Suddenly, the question "does it spark joy?" became "does it spark joy and has it been played within the last year". Then it became, "Does it spark joy, is information technology in good repair, has it been played within the last year and does it not annoy your parents?"
There were tears. The boys cried overly.
But something very odd happened as we approached the ordinal hr. The 5-year-old after some discussion and barreled questions seemed to grasp the idea that if we receive overmuch stuff, it becomes less likely to get Thomas More stuff. Suddenly, he became ruthless in his estimation of what brought him joy. His criterial response shifted to "Eliminate it."
The problem was that he was moving toys that we knew he liked and played with a lot. We had to reign him in. But his emergent hope to purge was also complicated past his brother's response: "If you put on't want IT, I'll take it."
Still, the outgrowth had been sped up, and by dinner time the pile had largely dispersed. Toys were at present grouped by kind. Games were reunited with lacking pieces. All the Legos plant a common location and four massive trash bags Saturday in the garage, at the ready for donation. And then I realized that my prized Inquire Woman action figure was lacking. Diana, caught up in the sanctify, was retrieved and the contribution bags were repacked. She now stands on a less littered shelf, surveying a more organized home.
Still, while we managed to tidy up, it's clear to Pine Tree State that the KonMari method isn't for little kids. At least not American kids. But our altered rendering seemed to work. We establish that it's easier for adults to understand the construct of "sparking joy" in the context of downsizing. Kids don't bring fort that. So we had to negotiate their joy and establish a context that ready-made signified. That meant helping them sympathise to have stuff, you need to Army of the Pure stuff go. And to have joy way exhibit joy aside playing with your toys and respecting them. That's how we got IT to joint.
And at long last, I'm happy that what my children have sparks much joyfulness for them. And I'm happy that they are willing to let extend. That can comprise hardened. Good ask Maine and Wonder Woman.
https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/marie-kondo-konmari-method-netflix-is-bad-for-kids/
Source: https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/marie-kondo-konmari-method-netflix-is-bad-for-kids/